My Little Girl
by LilyMarieEvansPotter
Summary: Noah Puckerman cried for the first time in seven years the day he held his baby girl for the last time...set during the events of 'Journey' **Big spoilers for the Glee Finale**


**Title: **My Little Girl

**Pairing**: Puck/Quinn

**Author:** LilyMarieEvansPotter

**Spoilers:** 1x22 Journey

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. All the characters belong to Ryan Murphy, as does Glee itself. I am only a humble addicted follower…who wishes she owned Noah Puckerman.

**Summary**: It had been seven years and counting since Noah Puckerman had cried. What a difference a day makes.

**AN:** So after the Glee finale I was left thrilled and depressed simultaneously. I guess we all knew they were definitely giving Beth up, but I was one of the few losers who held desperately onto that hope that something would change that. I'm team family Puckerman-Fabray. I can't help it. So once I managed to stop crying I decided to write this; basically all the sequence of the birth and following events but more Puck-centric (Because I was pissed we didn't get a Puck/Beth scene). Please read and leave reviews! This is my first Glee fic ever, and my first writing piece in a while so yes, nice constructive feedback darlings. Oh and, Quick ftw!

* * *

It had been seven years and counting since Noah Puckerman had cried.

When he was nine, he'd fallen out of a tree in the park and broken his leg in two places; he'd cried then in agony until his father had cuffed him around the head and told him to suck it up and be a man. Big boys don't cry and he knew better than to disobey his father's words. So that's exactly what he had done from that day on. He was a big boy, and he wouldn't cry anymore. From then on it didn't matter what the circumstances were or how much he truly felt like breaking down and sobbing, he always stopped himself. When his parents fought and he was left to try and look after his crying baby sister; he didn't cry. When his dad finally left them with nothing more than a note and an envelop full of money; he didn't cry. When he used to come home from school and find his Mom in tears; he didn't cry. When his Nana Connie died; he didn't cry.

But Noah Puckerman cried the day he held his baby girl for the last time.

He cried then, because the little creature wrapped in pink blankets that was bundled so carefully into his arms was his child; his Beth. It was as if nine months had been nothing more than some unrealistic blur. The baby was always there, somewhere in the great vast of space all that time, but now, she was there, in his arms, alive and his for those few short moments. It was the most terrifyingly incredible thing he'd ever experienced in his short life. That little girl was the best thing he'd ever put into the world.

And he cried because he had to let her go.

* * *

That day in all its entirety had left them all exhausted. Not only had they delivered a baby; though Puck had to give Quinn pretty much all of the credit on that side of things; but they had played their role at Regionals. They had danced and sang and they had been damn good, unfortunately it wasn't good enough. They hadn't won. They hadn't even placed. Had he been there Puck would have been ranting about what complete bullshit it was, how it wasn't fair, how they deserved to at least place after all their hard work and effort over the past year.

However, his loyalties had remained somewhere entirely different.

As the competition had continued on regardless of the lack of presence from the group that was New Directions, Puck had been positioned in the corner of a delivery room, watching the beautiful miracle of birth which frankly, wasn't all that beautiful. Well it was, if you considered screaming, blood, more screaming and more blood beautiful.

He didn't.

If it weren't for Mercedes and Mrs Fabray he would have been completely lost. They had been the support that Quinn needed; they had held her hand and told her to push and pull and whatever else it was she had done, whilst he'd tried his best not to throw up or faint as Quinn continually reminded him just how much he sucked. By the end of it, he really had started to hate himself almost as much as Quinn seemed to in those moments of excruciating pain and Puck discovered a new found appreciation for being a dude.

Then it was all over, just like that.

The nurse had scampered off and a few seconds later returned with the wrapped up baby girl who she quickly passed off into the waiting arms of a very justifiably exhausted Quinn.

And he was in complete awe.

There in one bed was everything that ever mattered to him. His girls. His family.

Quinn's hair was drenched with sweat and splattered all over her face yet those flushed features which had been previously been contorted in pain and anger, now bore that smile. That smile which seemed to brighten the very world in all its existence. And she was smiling at the baby and he swore to the heavens that little thing looked right back up at her with a near smile on those tiny lips.

She looked just like her.

He could have cried right then and there.

But he didn't.

* * *

It had been a blur after that.

Mercedes had left, returning to Regionals with the rest of the Glee club who had waited patiently in the hall for any word on the new arrival. Mrs Fabray had left with them, needing to return home in order to pick up some things for Quinn with the promise that she would be back later. The baby had been taken off, needing checked over before she was hauled off to the ward with all the new babies. Quinn had been taken into recovery and Puck had stumbled down into the cafeteria to try and suck down a cup of coffee while the new mom had a well deserved wash down.

He couldn't even remember drinking the coffee or the walk to the gift shop then back up to the recovery ward.

A severe state of shock tends to omit insignificant details like that.

But eventually Puck had found his way back to Quinn's bedside. A bunch of cheap gift shop flowers in one hand, and a balloon with the word 'Congratulations' spelt out across it in pink letters tied to his wrist bought for the woman who sat upright on the bed, looking exhausted but beautiful as always.

A pair of loose pink pyjama's drowned Quinn's wrecked form, matched perfectly with a big fluffy dressing gown that she had enveloped herself in. Her hair was tied loosely back though stray strands still fell delicately into her pale face which lit up with a soft smile as he approached.

"Congratulations Mommy."

The flowers were held out for her to take, and she did so with an appreciative smile and thank you, before she patted the bed beside her in invitation and carefully he sat down next to her, a small warm hand, immediately slipping inside his own larger one.

"I'm sorry."

The words spoken in that gentle feminine tone took him by surprise and he looked at her inquisitively, greeted only by that smile.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry…that she doesn't have a Mohawk."

They laughed then. Quiet, soft but genuine laughter that was laced with undertones of sadness.

He clutched her hand tighter and she squeezed his in return.

He would've have cried then.

But he didn't.

* * *

She amazes him a few hours later when she defiantly tells the nurse that she wants to see the baby and though she is insistently ushered into a wheelchair that Puck is content to push, he is still astounded by her strength. She's gone through all that and still she carries on as if it were nothing to the great Quinn Fabray.

And he envies that strength, because he feels like he's falling apart.

When they finally reach the baby ward, she pushes herself over to the screen window without so much as inkling that she needs any form of help, and he follows her like a lost puppy, as both their eyes rest on the hospital crib that holds their baby girl.

Then they are silent for the longest time both simultaneously in awe and swept away by their own personal thoughts.

"She looks like you."

Those are the first words that form and his own voice sounds alien even to him.

"Do you wanna keep her?"

It's the question that most desperately needs an answer yet it's the one he doesn't want to hear.

"No…do you?"

He falls silent though he's almost certain that answers everything.

Yes.

Yes he wants to keep her.

That's his baby…no one else's.

"Did you love me?"

Her question was so innocently posed and it was almost a welcome distraction from the twisting pang in his stomach that made him feel so desperately ill at the idea of giving that beautiful little thing away to someone else.

"Yes. Especially now."

And god it was the truth. He loved her so damn much though he'd done the worst job of showing it. Yet as he looked upon her then, a sheepish smile on his lips as she met his gaze with equal surprise and happiness, he knew truer words were never spoken.

He loved her.

And right then, he wanted to cry.

But he didn't.

* * *

Its three days later when everything comes crashing down in one foul swoop.

The decision has been made.

They aren't keeping her.

She's going to someone who can look after her, who can support her.

Shelby Corcoran.

And it kills him inside.

They'd gotten to spend time with Beth over the days Quinn's been in hospital and in that space of time he's grown attached.

As any father does to their newborn child.

They take turns holding her, they both talk or sing to her, Puck buys her a teddy bear, Quinn tells her stories and they sit huddled on that small hospital bed, in awe of that singular being; the life that they created; and in those blissful moments, it feels like they are a family and they are, until it's time for Quinn to be discharged.

It's a mockingly warm day in Ohio.

Mrs Fabray packed Quinn's things as her daughter nursed Beth that one last time and said her goodbyes to her baby. Puck found himself in that bedside chair, just watching the blond girl with their kid feeling like more a wreck than he looked.

And he looked pretty bad.

In a few hours, Shelby would be here to pick her up.

He hadn't said goodbye yet.

He couldn't bring himself to.

"Okay Quinny, that's you all packed up."

He couldn't help but be severely annoyed by the bubbly tones of Mrs Fabray's voice in that very moment.

"Thanks, can you go get the nurse? Tell her we're ready to leave…well, almost,"

The young mother waited until her own mom had accepted orders and left the room before she turned to Puck who stared blankly back at her.

"You want to hold her?"

Words failed him as his throat tightened, but he nodded slowly and rose from his seat.

This was goodbye; he knew it was.

It seemed all that more official as the baby was passed into his accepting arms.

"Hey baby."

The little form was rocked softly in the curve of his arm as he paced about and Quinn made herself look occupied though he knew she was listening to every word.

"I guess this is goodbye huh? Which kind of sucks…"

He felt weird, talking to a baby like this, but this was the only time his daughter was going to hear this stuff, and something's needed to be said.

Better late than never as was the case.

"I know Miss Corcoran will look after you. She seems like a nice person, and she really likes you…and I'm down with it, as long as she doesn't turn you into another Rachel, I don't think the world can handle another one of those."

The smallest of laughs fell hollowly from his lips as his dark eyes gazed down upon that little creature who stared up at him with eyes that were so entirely her mothers and they completely melted his heart.

"I guess, I just want you to know, that I'm never going to forget about you and when you get older I don't want you to think we gave you up because we didn't love you…because we do. We love you a lot. But mommy and daddy can't look after you; we're young too you see, too young. And I know, its bullsh-" His words were cut off by a swift cough from Quinn who was busy tying her shoe laces from the surface of her hospital bed.

"Sorry…I know it's unfair, but sometimes life sucks."

With a heavy sigh he moved back to that bedside chair, settling down into with Beth in his arms, fully aware now that Quinn had abandoned all subtly in favour of watching them instead.

"But this is for the best…even if it doesn't feel like it right now. You'll have a good life, with lots of toys and pink crap and dresses because if you're anything like your mom you'll need lots of dresses," He paused to look over at Quinn whose face was graced with a sad smile. "And who knows, maybe one day…we'll get too…"

The sentence fell away and his jaw clenched tightly, his eyes snapping shut. His throat was choked shut and he could barely bring himself to say what he needed to anymore.

This was just so hard.

Too hard.

"I'm always going to be your daddy and I'm sorry…sorry about everything I'm going to miss. But I'll think about you every minute of every day and think about all those things I am missing and I'll think about how much I love you and how giving you up is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life…"

It was then as his eyes snapped shut for a second time that he felt the moisture build up behind his lids and were it not for the sudden reappearance of Mrs Fabray who brought with her a wheelchair and a nurse, he would have dissolved.

"Everyone ready in here then?"

The nurse was almost as annoyingly cheerful as Mrs Fabray had been and he wanted them all too just go away back to happy town and leave him and his baby the hell alone.

"Almost…"

Quinn answered for him, and he didn't look up as she slipped off the bed, moving to his side, her small hand coming to press against his shoulder in light reassurance.

That was it wasn't it?

Now was the time.

He had to let her go.

"One more minute."

The words were the most pathetic beg he'd ever heard come from his lips in all his sixteen years of living, and for once, he honestly didn't care at all about how macho or manly he was.

Whatever happened next, Puck wasn't sure, but everyone seemed to back off except Quinn who stayed next to him, her hand on his shoulder.

With a shuddering inhalation of breath, he looked back down at his baby girl for what would be the last time.

"I know you won't know it…but there will always be two people out here who love you so much. You're my baby girl and I love you with everything I have and that's never going to change. I promise."

It was then he leaned down and kissed that little forehead tenderly, his lips lingering on the soft skin as finally a few tears escaped past the threshold of his eyes.

He felt so fucking cliché right now and he cared not a cent.

"Bye Beth."

When Puck pulled back he quickly fought back anymore tears that so angrily demanded to fall.

Big boys don't cry.

"You can take her now."

He looked over to the nurse who nodded slowly, moving to them.

It was the last time they would ever be together as a family.

Puck, Quinn and Beth.

Quinn leant down and kissed the little girl, her eyelashes collecting tears like raindrops he hadn't even realised were falling. And as his arms were rendered empty, he couldn't help but reach out for her, and as if that was exactly what she was expecting, the crying blond girl fell into his embrace, holding onto him as if for dear life.

And that broke him finally.

His own tears fell as he clutched that shaking form.

And no one spoke a word.

They just cried.

Cried for their loss.

Cried for the baby girl they would never know.

Cried for the vast journey that had come to an end.

And for the first time in seven years, Noah Puckerman let himself cry freely, unashamed and uncaring.

Because he was crying for all the right reasons.

He was crying for his daughter.

His little girl.

His Beth.


End file.
